There is a dangerous virus being passed around electronically, orally and by hand.

This virus is called Worm Overload Recreational Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss, or anyone else via any means DO NOT TOUCH IT.

This virus will wipe out your private life completely.

If you should come into contact with WORK, put your jacket on and take two good friends to the nearest Public House. Purchase the antidote known as Work Isolating Neutraliser Extract (WINE) or Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.

You should forward this warning to five friends. If you do not have five friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life.

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A NEW DEVELOPMENT

Apple announced today that it has developed a breast implant that can both store and play music.

The iTit will cost $499 or $599 depending on cup size.

This has been hailed as a major breakthrough because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

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ASSICONS

We all know those cute little computer symbols called "emoticons," where:

:) means a smile and

:( is a frown.

Well, how about some "ASSICONS?"

Here goes:

(_!_) a regular ass

(__!__) a fat ass

(!) a tight ass

(_*_) a sore ass

{_!_} a swishy ass

(_x_) kiss my ass

(_X_) leave my ass alone

(_zzz_) a tired ass

(_E=mc2_) a smart ass

(_$_) money coming out of his ass

(_?_) a dumb ass