Your wife decides to go out with her friends drinking and dancing....

You're okay with it, because you got to watch sports and play on the Internet all night...

You hear her stumble into bed around 4 and laugh knowing she's going to have a monster hangover....

You wake up next morning and go outside to the family Volvo, which she used last night....

You sigh in relief because it's all in one piece....

You circle the car looking for dents and find none....


But .... Wait a minute~
 

******************

*********************

 Two men are out ice fishing at their favourite fishing hole, just fishing quietly and drinking beer.

 Almost silently, so as not to scare the fish, Mel says,"I think I'm going to divorce my wife - she hasn't spoken to me in over 2 months."

 Earl continues slowly sipping his beer, then thoughtfully says,
"You better think it over - women like that are hard to find."

***********************

A farmer ordered a high-tech milking machine. Since the equipment arrived when his wife was out of town, he decided to test it on himself first.

So, he inserted his "manhood" into the equipment, turned on the switch and everything else
was automatic.

Soon, he realised that the equipment provided him with much more pleasure than his wife did. When the fun was over, though, he quickly realised that he couldn't remove the instrument from his 'member'.

He read the manual but didn't find any useful information on how to disengage himself.
He tried every button on the instrument, but still without success.

Finally, he decided to call the supplier's Customer Service Hot Line with his cell phone.

"Hello, I just bought a milking machine from your company. It works fantastic, but how do I remove it from the cow's udder?"

"Don't worry," replied the customer service rep,
"The machine will release automatically once it's collected two gallons."

Have a nice day.....