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*********************** Two Red Indians and an Irishman were walking through the woods.All of a sudden one of the Red Indians ran up a hill to the mouth of a small cave. 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' he called into the cave and listened closely
until he heard an answering 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Woooooo! He then tore off his clothes and ran into the cave. The Irishman was puzzled and asked the remaining Indian what it was all about,. 'Was the other Indian crazy or what?' The Indian replied 'No, It is our custom during mating season when Indian men see cave, they holler 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' into the opening. If they get an
answer back,
it means there's a beautiful squaw in there waiting for us. Just then they came upon another cave. The second Indian ran up to the cave, stopped, and hollered,
'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' Immediately, there was the answer. 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' from deep inside. He also tore off his clothes and ran into the opening.
The Irishman wandered around in the woods alone for a while
and then spied a third large cave. As he looked in amazement at the size of the huge opening, he was thinking,
'Hoo, man! Look at the size of this cave! It is bigger than those the Indians found.
There must be some really big, fine women in this cave!' He stood in front of the opening and hollered with all his might 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' Like the others, he then heard an answering call, 'WOOOOOOOOO, WOOOOOOOOO WOOOOOOOOO!' With a gleam in his eye and a smile on his face, he raced into the cave,
tearing off his clothes as he ran. The following day, the headline of the local newspaper read...............
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NAKED IRISHMAN RUN OVER BY TRAIN !!! ****************** On a train from London to Manchester, an American tourist was berating the Englishman sitting across from him in the compartment.
"You English are too stuffy. You set
yourselves apart too much. You think your stiff upper lips make your above the rest of us.
Look at me ... I'm me, I have Italian blood, French blood, a little Indian blood and some Swedish blood. What do you say to that
?"
The Englishman replied, "Very sporting of your mother." ***************** THE IRISH SHOPPER Can I have some Irish Sausages, please?' asked the Irishman, walking up to the counter.The assistant looked at him and asked: 'Are you Irish?'
'If I had asked you
for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian?' demanded the Irishman indignantly. 'Or, if I asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German?'
Then, warming to his theme, he went on: 'Or if I asked you for
a Kosher hot dog, would you ask me if I was Jewish?' 'Or, if I asked you for a taco, would you ask me if I was Mexican? ! Would Ya? Would Ya? The assistant said: 'Well, no.'
Suitably encouraged by the success of his logic, the Irishman steps it up a gear.
'And if I asked you for frogs legs, would you ask me if I was French?' 'What about Danish Bacon, would you ask me if I was Danish?' 'Well no, I probably wouldn't' conceded the assistant.
So, now bursting with righteous indignation, the Irishman says: 'Well, all right then, why did you ask me if I'm Irish just because I asked for Irish
sausages? The assistant replied: 'Because you're in Homebase' |
