Life Lesson: Always check your child's homework before it gets to school !
READ BELOW AFTER YOU LOOK AT THE DRAWING..
Note sent to teacher the next day...
Sorry, Miss James. That's NOT a dance pole on stage in a strip club !
I work at B&Q and that's me selling a shovel. Mrs. Smith
Mayonnaise Jar and 2 Beers
When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 Beers.
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise
jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar He
shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.'
The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.
'Now,' said the professor as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognise that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things, your family,
your children, your health, your friends and your favourite passions .. and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.
The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.The sand is everything else, the small stuff.'If you put the sand into the jar
first,' he continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you
will never have room for the things that are important to you.'Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents, visit with grandparents.
Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of
the golf ball first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer represented.
The professor smiled and said, 'I'm glad you asked.' The Beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of Beers with a friend.
It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.
One human hair can support 3 kg (6 lb).
The average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb.
Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.
A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.
There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.
Women blink twice as often as men.
The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain.
Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.
If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.
Women reading this will be finished now.
Men who read this are probably still busy checking their thumbs !