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CHINESE WEDDING NIGHT
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A young Chinese couple
gets married. She's a virgin. Truth be told, he is a virgin too, but she doesn't know that. On their wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets as her husband undresses in the darkness. He climbs
into bed next to her and tries to be reassuring. "My darring," he whispers, "I know dis you firss time and you berry frighten. I pomise you, I give you anyting you want, I do anyting - juss anyting You want. You juss
ask.
Whatchu want?" he says, trying to sound experienced and worldly,
which he hopes will impress her. A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly) for her request. She eventually
shyly whispers back, "I want to try someting I have heard about from other girls... Numbaa 69." More thoughtful silence, this time from him.
Eventually, in a puzzled tone he asks her... "You want... Garlic Chicken with corrifrowa?"
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THE TATTOO THAT TOPS EVERYONE'S
GO TRIBAL
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A couple was watching a Discovery Channel special about a West African bush tribe
whose men all had penises 24 inches long.
When the black male reaches a certain age, a string is tied around his penis and on the other end is a weight.
After a while, the weight stretches the penis to 24 inches.
Later that evening as the husband was getting out of the shower, his wife looked at him
and said, "How about we try the African string-and-weight procedure ?"
"The husband agreed and they tied a string and a weight to his penis. A few days later,
the wife asked the husband, "How is our little tribal experiment coming along ?"
"Well, it looks like we're about half way there," he replied.
"Wow, you mean it's grown to 12 inches ?"
"No, it's turned black !!" ****************
Keep this in mind when you have
something to return and the store gives you a hard time
A woman went to a K-Mart service counter and told the clerk she wanted a refund for the toaster
she bought because it won't work. The clerk told her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special.
Suddenly, the woman threw her arms up in the air and started screaming,
"RUB MY NIPPLES,
RUB MY NIPPLES,
RUB MY NIPPLES!"
The befuddled clerk ran away to get the store manager
in front of a growing crowd of customers.
The manager comes to the woman and asks,"Ma'am what's wrong?"
She explained the problem with the toaster, and he also told her that
he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special.
Once again, the woman throws her arms up in the air and screamed,
"RUB MY NIPPLES,
RUB MY NIPPLES,
RUB MY NIPPLES!"
and doing so draws an even bigger crowd!
In shock, the store manager pleads,
"Ma'am, why are you saying that?"
In a huff, the woman says,
"BECAUSE, I LIKE TO HAVE
MY NIPPLES RUBBED
WHEN I'M BEING SCREWED!"
The crowd broke into applause and her money was quickly refunded !! |
