COMPUTERS 5

GOODBYE .. BUT.......

This is an actual letter of resignation from an employee at Zac Tex Computers in the USA
to her boss .. who apparently resigned very soon afterwards !

    Dear Mr. B****,

    As a graduate of the University of Michigan, I have a few very basic expectations.
    Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of my co-workers and me over the past few months, I can only surmise that you are one
    of the few genuine genetic wastes of our era.

    Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because I know how to network computer systems, and I seriously wonder if you were hired to provide amusement in the Company, when you vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste"
    for the umpteenth time.

    You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand why people loathe you,
    but I am going to try and explain it to you, even though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what a PC is ! Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will.

    You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others.
    You have a sharp-dressed useless look about you that may have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your pathetic ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at.

    Since this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am obliged to tender my resignation - however I have a few parting thoughts.

    1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal for you to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on your own.

    2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I am going to publish your "favorites list", which I conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do believe that terms like "Lolita" and "Carla" are not usually viewed favorably by the administration.

    3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures at your Mother's birthday," you neglected to mention that you were going to take nude pictures of yourself in the mirror. Then you forgot to erase them like the techno-moron you really are.
    Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with a sauce bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of recommendation.
    (Try to use a spell check please; I hate having to correct your mistakes!)

    Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my desk by
    9:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public. Never "eff " with your systems administrators.

    Why? Because they know what you do with all that free time!

    Wishing you a grand and glorious day,

    Marge W****